A friend of mine comes from a very religious family and has a gay uncle. I asked her how the family deals with her uncle and how the uncle deals with the family.
Her mother, I'll call her Ida had called her brother Bill in order for him to come to the family celebrations for Thanksgiving. They spoke for quite a while. She does not like his being homosexual, but she loves him and wants him in her life. She really is just worried that at the end of it all he won't be there in Heaven beside her, and that makes her sad. She let him know that she prays for his immortal soul out of love and kindness, not out of hatred or fear.
This seems a common thread I've been reading and hearing a lot about recently. The Salvation Army, who have always been "anti-gay" issued the statement they only hate the sin, but love the sinner. They don't believe in denigrating any human being, after all everyone is a sinner.
The love Ida has for her brother is genuine, and so are her faith inspired concerns. She simply can not understand why Bill was still not coming over for Thanksgiving. She only has love for him!
I wonder though if the shoe was on the other foot she would be so understanding? Let's pretend I'm some kind of rabid Jew who believes the followers of Jesus are deluded. If I were to tell Ida I'm praying for her to see the light and forget all this Jesus nonsense, after all I'm just worried she's going down the wrong path to salvation. It's all out of love. I wonder how she'd take it? Would the simple fact I'm praying for her make her angry? What if I was worshiping some other godly name, like Vishnu or Baal or Allah? Would she get upset? There are many people upset right now that they may have eaten a turkey for Thanksgiving that had been blessed in the name of Allah. Somehow this tainted the turkey for them and endangered their immortal souls.
Recently I was asked to speak to a room full of 13 year-olds at a Unitarian Church about my sexuality. One question was brought up about the definition of being gay, bisexual, or straight. It was explained there is a sliding scale (Kinsey) and most people do not fall directly on one end or another (fully gay or fully straight). Bisexuals are a difficulty for gay people politically. If a bisexual can truly choose which gender to pursue, then sexuality becomes a choice. If sexuality is a choice then everyone could choose to be straight. Like Michele Bachmann just announced, "all gay people can marry as long as it is to someone of the opposite sex". Problem solved.
If sexuality is not a choice, (as it wasn't for me) then the only thing people can "blame" is nature, and thereby God. If God made us what we are, then it can't be wrong. Sin must be a conscious act, except for the Catholics who believe in the stain of original sin from Adam & Eve which even newborn babies carry. If Ida's brother Bill was born gay, then all of Ida's prayers are actually just rails against nature, against God's wishes. Is it really any wonder he didn't feel like going to her house for Thanksgiving?
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