In the movie PI, (spoiler alert - skip this paragraph if you don't want to know) the protagonist is a genius mathematician who has figured out a series of numbers which can predict lottery numbers and horse races. However, the number always seems to stop at a crucial point which drove the man's mentor crazy and threatens to do the same to him. Finally he is able to push past this stumbling block only to discover the number is found everywhere; absolutely everywhere including every leaf, raindrop, rock, person, etc. He had discovered the name of God which is written into everything. By the way, it's a very good movie.
The Jewish priests would go into the "holy of holies" in the ancient Temple of Jerusalem (where the Ark of the Covenant was located). There, they would whisper the name of God, out of earshot from the congregation. Supposedly, to actually say the name out loud could cause the priest terrible anguish or death. The name has power, but then the Jewish people have always believed words and names have power. Most cultures have believed this. This is where the idea of blessings and curses comes from. Many religions believe if you know the name of a demon (or Djin, or elemental, etc.) you can control it. God's name is raw; it's neither a curse nor a blessing; it's the building block of the universe, a creative force in itself. Before there was anything there was the word. The word was the name.
Of course this could be all mythology, religious tradition, magic, but many people really believe this. Let's just leave it there, I don't want to get into a discussion about whether or not religious beliefs are real or mere beliefs.
After the Temple was destroyed in 70AD by Rome, the priestly caste was wiped out and the Rabbis, the schoolteachers took over. Since there are no more priests many traditions are now forgotten or forbidden. Without a priest and a Temple, for instance, sacrificing animals is now forbidden. Writing or saying the name of God is not expressly forbidden, but it would be considered outrageously rude to mispronounce the name of a guest in your home; imagine how rude it would be to mispronounce the name of your own God? Jews, instead use a variety of other terms such as Lord, Master, Creator, etc. Many Orthodox Jews refuse to even write the word God in fear that this word has become a proper name. Instead they will write G-d.
In the Bible Moses asks God what to call him. God replies that he is "to be", or per the other versions: "I am what I am", or "I am and always will be". This phrase is spelled with four letters (known to Catholics as the Tetragram) YHVH. In Greek the Y and J are the same letter. The usual substitute for Jewish people who do not wish to pronounce the word YHVH is Adonai (Lord). A sixteenth century German Christian scribe, while transliterating the Bible into Latin for the Pope, wrote the name out as it appeared in his texts, with the consonants of YHVH and the vowels of Adonai, and came up with the word JeHoVaH, and the name stuck.
According to some Kabbalistic texts (Ancient Jewish Mysticism) and some traditions, these four letters are only four of a total 72 letters in the actual name of God. The Hebrew alphabet, like the Greek one, is made up of letters which are also numbers. The Kabbalists used numbers to create words and vice versa. This is known as Gemmatria, or Numerology. Many places in the Torah (old Testament) reference specific numbers or numerical sequences. It would be difficult to separate which were words and which were numbers except for context. Supposedly, if one were to discover even one more letter to add to the four, immense power would be open to the person uttering the name. Imagine what knowing six or seven letters would mean. Now imagine knowing all 72 letters.
As you can see, the movie PI really taps into something ancient here. It's no wonder the poor protagonist mathematician is pursued by all manner of groups including Jews who want to stop him.
I'm not going to tell you how the movie ends.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
on regret
"I may have forgotten, the name and the address, of everyone I've ever loved, but there's nothing I regret." So goes the fabulous New Order song. Regrets are strange things. Many people have regrets, guilt that ways on their consciences, choices they wished they'd made. I'm with the New Order; I have no regrets. Well, actually I have some, but I don't wish I'd made different decisions:
1. In 1984 I lived in Phoenix, Arizona which was evidently quite a gay metropolis, teeming with gay bars, dance clubs, and sex-cruising areas. I was completely oblivious. I was gay, nineteen, and living in a thriving gay culture without even realizing it. And the drinking age was nineteen at the time! However, if I'd actually gone out back then, at the height of the pandemic, I'd probably have contracted something. I'd also not be the person I grew up to be and therefore I wouldn't have met and fallen in love with my partner of 19 years. So, although I kind of regret not "living it up" back then, I certainly wouldn't change a thing!
2. As my mother first started her treatments for breast cancer, the family went to the Portland Japanese Gardens. In order to get to them one must climb a fairly steep stairway or take a very long serpentine ramp. We decided to climb the stairs. My mother needed many breaks to catch her breath and I remember thinking "you're so out of shape and this is why the disease attacked you so easily". I immediately regretted thinking it. However, I realize I was going through one of the typical stages: anger. I was angry with my mother for allowing cancer to get her. This was ridiculous, but not extraordinary. I regret having the feeling, but I forgive myself for being normal.
3. In 2006 I started my own firm and left the comfortable employ of a local architect. The working conditions weren't bad or anything, I had just had enough of working for someone else. Immediately I had contracts galore and was raking in the cash. Robert quit his job in 2008 and devoted his time to helping with the business. We bought an old building with surplus cash in order to "fix it up" and make it our new offices. Everything was golden. Then the economy tanked and all the contracts dried up. People went bankrupt left and right and everyone was hurting. It's been a difficult time trying to climb out of the hole we went into. However, I know we're better off than some people out there, and if I'd have stayed at the old firm I probably would have been laid off and Robert would have been more miserable having to toil away in a public sector job.
So that's pretty much it. I really don't have any real regrets. I haven't done anything so terrible to someone that I've needed forgiveness or have been eaten up with guilt. Changing my past decisions would have led me down different paths, but none of them would have made me the man I am today. And you know what? I like me.
1. In 1984 I lived in Phoenix, Arizona which was evidently quite a gay metropolis, teeming with gay bars, dance clubs, and sex-cruising areas. I was completely oblivious. I was gay, nineteen, and living in a thriving gay culture without even realizing it. And the drinking age was nineteen at the time! However, if I'd actually gone out back then, at the height of the pandemic, I'd probably have contracted something. I'd also not be the person I grew up to be and therefore I wouldn't have met and fallen in love with my partner of 19 years. So, although I kind of regret not "living it up" back then, I certainly wouldn't change a thing!
2. As my mother first started her treatments for breast cancer, the family went to the Portland Japanese Gardens. In order to get to them one must climb a fairly steep stairway or take a very long serpentine ramp. We decided to climb the stairs. My mother needed many breaks to catch her breath and I remember thinking "you're so out of shape and this is why the disease attacked you so easily". I immediately regretted thinking it. However, I realize I was going through one of the typical stages: anger. I was angry with my mother for allowing cancer to get her. This was ridiculous, but not extraordinary. I regret having the feeling, but I forgive myself for being normal.
3. In 2006 I started my own firm and left the comfortable employ of a local architect. The working conditions weren't bad or anything, I had just had enough of working for someone else. Immediately I had contracts galore and was raking in the cash. Robert quit his job in 2008 and devoted his time to helping with the business. We bought an old building with surplus cash in order to "fix it up" and make it our new offices. Everything was golden. Then the economy tanked and all the contracts dried up. People went bankrupt left and right and everyone was hurting. It's been a difficult time trying to climb out of the hole we went into. However, I know we're better off than some people out there, and if I'd have stayed at the old firm I probably would have been laid off and Robert would have been more miserable having to toil away in a public sector job.
So that's pretty much it. I really don't have any real regrets. I haven't done anything so terrible to someone that I've needed forgiveness or have been eaten up with guilt. Changing my past decisions would have led me down different paths, but none of them would have made me the man I am today. And you know what? I like me.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
on Teeth
Clue 1:
On an episode of the fantastic TV show "Diagnosis Unknown" a poor woman suffered from a mysterious syndrome that caused massive organ failure after years of strange illnesses and symptoms. As a child she suffered from constant dry mouth and later had trouble producing tears. All through her life she had terrible tooth decay despite keeping a strict oral hygiene regimen. Finally, after losing all her teeth and a kidney, the doctors were able to determine she wasn't able to produce enough saliva and tears, which in turn caused all the troubles. Truly.
Clue 2:
I have a relative and a friend who have never had a single cavity their entire lives. Yet, they just brush once a day and rarely floss. Still, when they go to the dentist they neither have decayed enamel nor tarter build up. How is this possible?
Clue 3:
Between the ages of 18 and 24 I suffered from calcium build up inside one or both of my saliva glands beneath my tongue. The toothpaste commercials claim that Fluoride builds tooth enamel, but actually it kind of softens it; makes the molecular bond open up to receive calcium. Saliva breaks down organic matter, as well as carries calcium and helps to deposit it onto the tooth enamel. This symbiotic relationship keeps teeth free of debris where bacteria (plaque) would grow and keeps the tooth enamel strong. I don't suffer from dry mouth, so I evidently produce enough saliva.
Clue 4:
I have always had a very strict routine when it comes to my teeth. My mother and father both had constant tooth troubles and bone loss. I typically brush twice daily; use mouthwash twice daily; and floss at least once daily. When I brush, I use toothpaste once around, rinse, then use a dry tooth brush to cover the same areas. It takes a little bit of time, but I know my mouth is extremely clean afterwards. I have also used a fluoride rinse for years.
Clue 5:
Every time I go to the dentist I hear the same thing: "You have a lot of tartar build up. You need to floss. You have a cavity". EVERY TIME.
Hypothesis:
Despite a very strict brushing routine, I believe my saliva lacks the proper PH to kill bacteria. It's not that I don't have enough saliva, it's that my saliva is pretty much water. I did some reading about PH balance and my suspicions are somewhat confirmed about the importance of PH and saliva. However, PH balance has become a kind of pseudoscience where groups of "practitioners" have made statements that blame nearly every disease and syndrome on an unbalanced PH. It is true that cancer patients, near the very end of their lives, have really wacky PH levels. Based on this fact, the PH believers claim that knowing your PH balance will not only predict cancer, but putting the PH back into balance can even cure the disease.
All the pseudoscience aside, I think I'm really on to something. There has to be a reason why so many people have perfect teeth without much maintenance and yet I put my mouth through militaristic exercises and still end up having the dentist shake his head and tell me to floss more.
On an episode of the fantastic TV show "Diagnosis Unknown" a poor woman suffered from a mysterious syndrome that caused massive organ failure after years of strange illnesses and symptoms. As a child she suffered from constant dry mouth and later had trouble producing tears. All through her life she had terrible tooth decay despite keeping a strict oral hygiene regimen. Finally, after losing all her teeth and a kidney, the doctors were able to determine she wasn't able to produce enough saliva and tears, which in turn caused all the troubles. Truly.
Clue 2:
I have a relative and a friend who have never had a single cavity their entire lives. Yet, they just brush once a day and rarely floss. Still, when they go to the dentist they neither have decayed enamel nor tarter build up. How is this possible?
Clue 3:
Between the ages of 18 and 24 I suffered from calcium build up inside one or both of my saliva glands beneath my tongue. The toothpaste commercials claim that Fluoride builds tooth enamel, but actually it kind of softens it; makes the molecular bond open up to receive calcium. Saliva breaks down organic matter, as well as carries calcium and helps to deposit it onto the tooth enamel. This symbiotic relationship keeps teeth free of debris where bacteria (plaque) would grow and keeps the tooth enamel strong. I don't suffer from dry mouth, so I evidently produce enough saliva.
Clue 4:
I have always had a very strict routine when it comes to my teeth. My mother and father both had constant tooth troubles and bone loss. I typically brush twice daily; use mouthwash twice daily; and floss at least once daily. When I brush, I use toothpaste once around, rinse, then use a dry tooth brush to cover the same areas. It takes a little bit of time, but I know my mouth is extremely clean afterwards. I have also used a fluoride rinse for years.
Clue 5:
Every time I go to the dentist I hear the same thing: "You have a lot of tartar build up. You need to floss. You have a cavity". EVERY TIME.
Hypothesis:
Despite a very strict brushing routine, I believe my saliva lacks the proper PH to kill bacteria. It's not that I don't have enough saliva, it's that my saliva is pretty much water. I did some reading about PH balance and my suspicions are somewhat confirmed about the importance of PH and saliva. However, PH balance has become a kind of pseudoscience where groups of "practitioners" have made statements that blame nearly every disease and syndrome on an unbalanced PH. It is true that cancer patients, near the very end of their lives, have really wacky PH levels. Based on this fact, the PH believers claim that knowing your PH balance will not only predict cancer, but putting the PH back into balance can even cure the disease.
All the pseudoscience aside, I think I'm really on to something. There has to be a reason why so many people have perfect teeth without much maintenance and yet I put my mouth through militaristic exercises and still end up having the dentist shake his head and tell me to floss more.
on Websites
The year 1998:
The year 2002:
Brian is at a dinner party and all of his colleagues mention their companies have websites. Now the old guy listens. He decides it's time to have a website built. He spends money and has a young IT professional create a functional, utilitarian website. He feels he has finally come into the future. And then suddenly people tell him the website needs to be updated. In fact, it needs to be constantly maintained. He has to spend more money on it. Of course Brian is used to updating the company brochures from time to time, so this isn't too big a stretch.
The year 2010:
Brian is at a marketing meeting where he is told that the company website is doing fine, but now the company needs to be on Facebook, Twitter, and needs a blog. The old forms of marketing aren't working. The brochures and postcards are antiquated. Brian reacts negatively to the change. It took years for him to accept having a website and now he's being told that websites aren't the best way to market his company anymore. He is told that over 71 percent of people browsing the internet have a Facebook page. By having a blog and an active Twitter account, Brian's company will increase the browser connections to its website, name and brand. It will "optimize search engine" results he's informed. Brian is told all this new marketing will raise something called his "Klout score".
He thinks to himself....well, at some point in the future I'll have to look into it. Problem is, things are changing so rapidly, waiting isn't really an option. But Brian needs a constant barrage of people telling him this is important for a very, very long time before he'll finally understand the importance.
True story; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Grapefruit FYI
Did you know that the fruit we call Grapefruit is really just a hybrid orange? Farmers were able to cross oranges and an Asian fruit called a Pomelo to create the Grapefruit.
Did you also know that due to the enzymes and compounds present in the Pomelo, Grapefruits can interact negatively with many of our modern drugs including blood thinners, heart medications and HIV drugs? The interaction can cause the drugs to be less potent or ineffectual and in some cases can actually reverse the drug's effects. Drinking a glass of grapefruit juice at or near the same time as taking these drugs is when the interaction is at its highest.
The More You Know!
Did you also know that due to the enzymes and compounds present in the Pomelo, Grapefruits can interact negatively with many of our modern drugs including blood thinners, heart medications and HIV drugs? The interaction can cause the drugs to be less potent or ineffectual and in some cases can actually reverse the drug's effects. Drinking a glass of grapefruit juice at or near the same time as taking these drugs is when the interaction is at its highest.
The More You Know!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Why I could never hold public office
I just attended a democratic meeting. It's not the first time. I've been to city council meetings, district meetings, ward meetings and even little block meetings. At each one the public has the chance to "be heard". So, inevitably there is a questions & answers portion of the event. Also inevitable is the presence of 'crazies'. Now, there's many different levels of crazy, and most of these people, I'm sure, are actually nice individuals when you get them out of a public forum. However, these people love to attend these types of events so they can stand up, be seen and heard and simply rant about something that the given speaker cares little about and has little to nothing to do with and has no power to do anything about. Yet the person is given ample time to ask their insane question.
Of course it never is a single question either. It's usually some 26 part question that includes a history lesson about the person asking the question "I moved here twelve years ago...and my cousin Barbara had a tumor...and three bicycles were stolen in that same year". The parts of the question are usually disconnected and have little commonality between them.
The questions are not really questions, because the crazy doesn't really want an answer it just wants to rant. They're usually a string of statements presented with ever escalating agitation.
The crazy can't use the English language very well and so the sentences are hard to follow and there is no subject, predicate, noun, verb, or at least some semblance of sane dialog. I''m not saying these people have difficulty with the language itself; they speak English perfectly fine in general, but when it comes to standing up and saying something in a forum, English becomes their second, or maybe fifth language (even though they probably can't speak a single word from any other language).
Yet they are placated in the ruse that they are "being heard" in earnest. Of course the crazy goes home thinking the speaker wasn't really listening, or was secretly thinking up ways to screw them over, and so the crazy comes back to the very next meeting to rant again in a never ending cycle.
I attended one ward meeting where the poor city councilman was beset by a ten-minute harangue from a woman concerned that nothing was being done about dead-beat fathers. And just what did she think the councilman could do about it? Nothing. She said her piece, never asked a single question, and sat down. I still don't know what that was for. I've been told that people purposely get up and speak so that it becomes public record, but who in their right mind will be looking up that record?
The much beleaguered Port of Cleveland used to hold public meetings but the meetings would drag on endlessly with these crazy rants and no real questions ever got asked or answered. So, they implemented a very strategic concept. Upon arriving at venue each person is given a 3x5 index card and a pencil. They are instructed to write their one question on the card (it must fit on that one card, front and back) and turn it in. This keeps the length of the questions manageable. Then someone from the Port takes the cards and pre-reads them to see if they make any legible sense. Of course this also gives them the opportunity to weed out the undesirable questions. Then they proceed to give answers to the chosen, culled questions. The crazies leave feeling they weren't heard, but then they'd have done that anyway. You'll never really placate them; it's impossible.
Some people feel that this culling of questions is anti-democratic. I feel that it is MORE democratic because it gives people a chance to ask questions without being completely railroaded by the crazies.
If I were holding public office I'd crack. I'd become a crazy. I'd yell at them to sit down and shut the f*ck up and let the other people ask questions.
And that's why I could never hold public office.
Of course it never is a single question either. It's usually some 26 part question that includes a history lesson about the person asking the question "I moved here twelve years ago...and my cousin Barbara had a tumor...and three bicycles were stolen in that same year". The parts of the question are usually disconnected and have little commonality between them.
The questions are not really questions, because the crazy doesn't really want an answer it just wants to rant. They're usually a string of statements presented with ever escalating agitation.
The crazy can't use the English language very well and so the sentences are hard to follow and there is no subject, predicate, noun, verb, or at least some semblance of sane dialog. I''m not saying these people have difficulty with the language itself; they speak English perfectly fine in general, but when it comes to standing up and saying something in a forum, English becomes their second, or maybe fifth language (even though they probably can't speak a single word from any other language).
Yet they are placated in the ruse that they are "being heard" in earnest. Of course the crazy goes home thinking the speaker wasn't really listening, or was secretly thinking up ways to screw them over, and so the crazy comes back to the very next meeting to rant again in a never ending cycle.
I attended one ward meeting where the poor city councilman was beset by a ten-minute harangue from a woman concerned that nothing was being done about dead-beat fathers. And just what did she think the councilman could do about it? Nothing. She said her piece, never asked a single question, and sat down. I still don't know what that was for. I've been told that people purposely get up and speak so that it becomes public record, but who in their right mind will be looking up that record?
The much beleaguered Port of Cleveland used to hold public meetings but the meetings would drag on endlessly with these crazy rants and no real questions ever got asked or answered. So, they implemented a very strategic concept. Upon arriving at venue each person is given a 3x5 index card and a pencil. They are instructed to write their one question on the card (it must fit on that one card, front and back) and turn it in. This keeps the length of the questions manageable. Then someone from the Port takes the cards and pre-reads them to see if they make any legible sense. Of course this also gives them the opportunity to weed out the undesirable questions. Then they proceed to give answers to the chosen, culled questions. The crazies leave feeling they weren't heard, but then they'd have done that anyway. You'll never really placate them; it's impossible.
Some people feel that this culling of questions is anti-democratic. I feel that it is MORE democratic because it gives people a chance to ask questions without being completely railroaded by the crazies.
If I were holding public office I'd crack. I'd become a crazy. I'd yell at them to sit down and shut the f*ck up and let the other people ask questions.
And that's why I could never hold public office.
Some recent/new movies
We just watched The Green Hornet starring Seth Rogen, Jay Chou and Cameron Diaz. Although the gadgets were kind of fun, the story was extremely predictable and the direction was off. The director had the actors try to talk over each other, probably to make it seem more realistic or something, but it didn't work. Seth Rogen was his typical self which got pretty tiring. Jay Chou was the best part of the show but the silly special effects threatened to ruin his martial arts scenes. Now, the part I just can't forgive: the car is loaded with gadgets and the Green Hornet is mega-rich...yet....Diaz has to FAX information to him! No email...FAX!!! WTF? There were a few other holes like this in the movie but this one really set me off.
Recently we watched Transformers 2. I didn't really like the first one with its extremely 2 dimensional characters and unbelievably cliche "secret FBI" characters, but the special effects of the transformers themselves were kind of neat. Why Michael Bay, the director, is at all celebrated is beyond me. What does Steven Spielberg see in him? In this sequel, Bay has the actors talk over each other, like the Green Hornet, but worse. We again have the secret FBI that somehow can pull rank on the highest military officers. We also have "comedy relief" in the form of a pair of twin car transformers with "black" voices, or voices that are trying desperately to be "street". I was just cringing and waiting for one of them to say "girrrl" or "it's about to get crazy up in here". They were simply awful. If you like seeing nearly everything exploding then this is an okay movie.
Another film we saw was Never Let Me Go. Now this film was very different. English students live, play and learn in a strange, extremely strict school. As they grow up we discover what their real purpose is. It was as if someone took the script from The Island (starring Ewen McGregor) and rewrote it to be a thoughtful piece about love and ethics. It was tenderly done and a very quiet, haunting film.
I liked the action, the fast pacing, the graphics work, and the music of the original Smoking Aces. Somehow I missed that someone decided to make a sequel Smoking Aces 2. This film was such a stinker we just couldn't even finish it. Everything was style over substance to such a degree it was rendered ridiculous. This was just a student's version of the first film with every lens trick, computer generated after effect, and horrendously poor scripting they could throw in.
On the other hand, the English film Layer Cake from 2004 starring Daniel Craig (007) and Colm Meaney (Deep Space 9) was pretty good if you can understand anything anyone says. The accents are so thick it's an anglophile's test. However, the storyline, acting and action are well done and Craig shows off how well he can create a character.
Speaking of Daniel Craig, we saw the Spielberg film Munich about the assassination of Jewish athletes in the 1970's Olympics and the following reprisals. Craig shows again that he is a consummate character actor. The film is good even if the script kind of plods along slowly. In a way, I actually prefer the 1980's version because it was much shorter.
Recently we watched Transformers 2. I didn't really like the first one with its extremely 2 dimensional characters and unbelievably cliche "secret FBI" characters, but the special effects of the transformers themselves were kind of neat. Why Michael Bay, the director, is at all celebrated is beyond me. What does Steven Spielberg see in him? In this sequel, Bay has the actors talk over each other, like the Green Hornet, but worse. We again have the secret FBI that somehow can pull rank on the highest military officers. We also have "comedy relief" in the form of a pair of twin car transformers with "black" voices, or voices that are trying desperately to be "street". I was just cringing and waiting for one of them to say "girrrl" or "it's about to get crazy up in here". They were simply awful. If you like seeing nearly everything exploding then this is an okay movie.
Another film we saw was Never Let Me Go. Now this film was very different. English students live, play and learn in a strange, extremely strict school. As they grow up we discover what their real purpose is. It was as if someone took the script from The Island (starring Ewen McGregor) and rewrote it to be a thoughtful piece about love and ethics. It was tenderly done and a very quiet, haunting film.
I liked the action, the fast pacing, the graphics work, and the music of the original Smoking Aces. Somehow I missed that someone decided to make a sequel Smoking Aces 2. This film was such a stinker we just couldn't even finish it. Everything was style over substance to such a degree it was rendered ridiculous. This was just a student's version of the first film with every lens trick, computer generated after effect, and horrendously poor scripting they could throw in.
On the other hand, the English film Layer Cake from 2004 starring Daniel Craig (007) and Colm Meaney (Deep Space 9) was pretty good if you can understand anything anyone says. The accents are so thick it's an anglophile's test. However, the storyline, acting and action are well done and Craig shows off how well he can create a character.
Speaking of Daniel Craig, we saw the Spielberg film Munich about the assassination of Jewish athletes in the 1970's Olympics and the following reprisals. Craig shows again that he is a consummate character actor. The film is good even if the script kind of plods along slowly. In a way, I actually prefer the 1980's version because it was much shorter.
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