Why I could never hold public office

I just attended a democratic meeting.  It's not the first time.  I've been to city council meetings, district meetings, ward meetings and even little block meetings.  At each one the public has the chance to "be heard".  So, inevitably there is a questions & answers portion of the event.  Also inevitable is the presence of 'crazies'.  Now, there's many different levels of crazy, and most of these people, I'm sure, are actually nice individuals when you get them out of a public forum.  However, these people love to attend these types of events so they can stand up, be seen and heard and simply rant about something that the given speaker cares little about and has little to nothing to do with and has no power to do anything about.  Yet the person is given ample time to ask their insane question.

Of course it never is a single question either.  It's usually some 26 part question that includes a history lesson about the person asking the question "I moved here twelve years ago...and my cousin Barbara had a tumor...and three bicycles were stolen in that same year".  The parts of the question are usually disconnected and have little commonality between them.

The questions are not really questions, because the crazy doesn't really want an answer it just wants to rant.  They're usually a string of statements presented with ever escalating agitation.

The crazy can't use the English language very well and so the sentences are hard to follow and there is no subject, predicate, noun, verb, or at least some semblance of sane dialog.  I''m not saying these people have difficulty with the language itself; they speak English perfectly fine in general, but when it comes to standing up and saying something in a forum, English becomes their second, or maybe fifth language (even though they probably can't speak a single word from any other language).

Yet they are placated in the ruse that they are "being heard" in earnest.  Of course the crazy goes home thinking the speaker wasn't really listening, or was secretly thinking up ways to screw them over, and so the crazy comes back to the very next meeting to rant again in a never ending cycle.

I attended one ward meeting where the poor city councilman was beset by a ten-minute harangue from a woman concerned that nothing was being done about dead-beat fathers.  And just what did she think the councilman could do about it?  Nothing.  She said her piece, never asked a single question, and sat down.  I still don't know what that was for.  I've been told that people purposely get up and speak so that it becomes public record, but who in their right mind will be looking up that record?

The much beleaguered Port of Cleveland used to hold public meetings but the meetings would drag on endlessly with these crazy rants and no real questions ever got asked or answered.  So, they implemented a very strategic concept.  Upon arriving at venue each person is given a 3x5 index card and a pencil.  They are instructed to write their one question on the card (it must fit on that one card, front and back) and turn it in.  This keeps the length of the questions manageable.  Then someone from the Port takes the cards and pre-reads them to see if they make any legible sense.  Of course this also gives them the opportunity to weed out the undesirable questions.  Then they proceed to give answers to the chosen, culled questions.  The crazies leave feeling they weren't heard, but then they'd have done that anyway.  You'll never really placate them; it's impossible.

Some people feel that this culling of questions is anti-democratic.  I feel that it is MORE democratic because it gives people a chance to ask questions without being completely railroaded by the crazies.

If I were holding public office I'd crack.  I'd become a crazy.  I'd yell at them to sit down and shut the f*ck up and let the other people ask questions.

And that's why I could never hold public office.